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How to deal with the child inside your badly behaved guests in 1 step

- A psychological posture for hospitality workers -



At this time of the year the pressure is on. As a hospitality professionals you are likely to be working more, serving more and putting up with more in the way of bad behaviour from the general public. In this blog I’ll provide a simple way of dealing with the challenges of being on the receiving end….


It will never be acceptable for the general public to be disrespectful to service workers. After all, being in service to others is the most noble job of them all and if you are doing it right then you actively doing your best to give them a great time. But some people either just have not developed enough emotional maturity or just simply have been conditioned to believe it’s acceptable. The truth is it won’t stop as I’m afraid we are all flawed


So how can you deal with this type of behaviour, day after day without other peoples problems becoming your own?


This simple answer to this is to allow them to. And here’s why….


When we adopt an attitude of allowing others to behave as they do, rather than trying to change them or to judge their actions as wrong, several significant psychological shifts can occur:

Reduction in Stress and Conflict:

Trying to change someone else's behaviour or mindset can be a source of stress and conflict, both internally and in our interactions. By accepting others as they are, we reduce this tension, leading to a more peaceful state of mind. If you have children, try this at home….

Increased Empathy and Understanding:

Allowing others to be themselves encourages us to try to understand their perspective or circumstances. This fosters empathy, a crucial skill for emotional intelligence and effective interpersonal relationships.


Enhanced Emotional Regulation:

When we stop trying to control others' behaviour, we often find it easier to regulate our own emotions. We become less reactive to what others do or say, which in turn helps us maintain emotional balance.


Cultivation of Acceptance and Patience:

This approach helps us develop a greater sense of acceptance and patience, not just with others but with the world in general. We learn to acknowledge that not everything is within our control, which can be a liberating realisation.


Growth in Personal Responsibility:

By focusing less on changing others and more on our responses to them, we take greater responsibility for our own emotions and actions. This can lead to significant personal growth.


Decrease in Judgment and Criticism:

Letting others be as they are helps in lowering our tendency to judge or criticise, making our interactions more positive and less confrontational.


Improvement in Relationships:

Relationships can improve when we accept others for who they are. This acceptance can lead to stronger, more authentic connections.


Opportunities for Self-Reflection:

This approach can also turn our attention inward, encouraging self-reflection. We might start to question why certain behaviours in others trigger us and work on our own areas of growth.


Enhanced Sense of Peace and Contentment:

Ultimately, letting go of the need to change others can bring a sense of peace and contentment. We become more at ease with the variability of human nature and more comfortable in our interactions.


Allowing others to behave as they do without trying to change them or judging them can lead to a more peaceful, empathetic, and emotionally intelligent way of engaging with the world. It encourages personal growth and healthier relationships, grounded in acceptance and understanding.


So next time someone behaves badly towards you at work, let them. Because in letting it go, and recognising their inner child, you meet a better version of yourself and trigger others to be better too…


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